March 2010


I love films, especially ones which resonate with me personally. I just watched ‘The Miracle Worker’ with Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke, great stuff. I’ve taught a bit, so I was like ‘I get this’. One of my favorite films is ‘The Shawshank Redemption. Realistically I’d say I wouldn’t last five minutes in prison, but until I’m put to the test, I would like to think that, like Andy, hope would keep me going. However recently I watched something that resonanted like an earthquake to my very core!! Ep X from the 3rd season of Private Practise! I’m not being facitious, it’s a really good show. The show runner is a woman and it shows. Every other week, the main protaginist, Addison, has a 30 something dilemma which tends to hit a nerve, but after ep X in particular, I’m reeling still.

Basically she got stuck in a car in a (of course) potentially deadly situation with a pregnant woman about to give birth. Meanwhile the woman’s injured husband lay outside, also (of course) near death. Anyway, trying to compell the woman to hold on, Addison urged her “you have to live, if you die, that man outside there will be broken..if I die, no one will be broken, they’ll be sad, but not broken, you can’t die, you can’t break that man.” You can see where this is going can’t you…

NO ONE WILL BE BROKEN IF I DIE!!!

Sure, like Addison, people will be very very sad (…I presume) . My pal Sinead said she’d be ‘bent’! Someone else came up with ‘a bit skewed’, but bent and skewed are very far from ‘broken’! ‘What about your parents’ people have asked (I’ve been dwelling on this for a while now) Well, yeah, again I presume they’d be devastated, but no more so then if one of the other many siblings got run over! And anyway, it’s their job so it doesn’t really count.

No, I want some man who is so passionatly in love with ME (ME ME ME) that his world would be DESTROYED where I to kick it while giving birth in a precariously balenced vechicle. Obviously I don’t put this on my internet dating profile and I don’t mention it on a first date, and it’ s not that I want to break someone pre se, but it’s just the princible of the thing. ‘Bent’ just doesn’t cut it.

Hmm, is it worth blogging if you feel you have to be cautious about what you write? Before, when I was a complete newbie to Paris and was internet dating up a storm, it didn’t really matter what I wrote about various people becuase chances were, I wasn’t going to see them again. Actually that goes for my standard dating too unfortunatly, but let’s not dwell on that.

But now you see, I am getting to know people, in fact I can even say I have made some friends. However gossip is my life’s blood. In fact I think rather then blood, I have the exact brand of ink running through my veins they use to print ‘The National Enquirer’. And where there is very little gossip, I can manufacture some. That’s one of the few advantages of being judgemental, I can have an opinion, about which I can go on at lengh, on just about everyone!!
But you can’t do that with friends can you? Oh of course you can behind their backs with other friends, I mean that’s part of the deal right? It’s what you sign up for, in fact if one’s friends are NOT dissecting one’s latest life decisions, well they don’t really care do they. However it’s probably not the done thing to post the gossipy musings on the internet is it…or is it??? I’m still not 100% au fait with blogging etiquette ..or liable law for that matter but it’s why, when I went back to Ireland, my blog fell at the first hurdle. Various family and friends were within hitting distance or at least knew where to find me.

The other option is I suppose, ‘if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing’ but where’s the fun in that?