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I have acquired a husband. He is French, he is tall and he is terribly jealous and posessive. He is also completely imaginary. I summon him up when I am being mildly hassled by blokes who are too pleasant to be assualted with a barrage of abusive sounding Gaelic yet too insistent to be off of with a simple ‘non merci’ to their invitations to coffee.
Thing is, when I’m bluffing about him, I almost start to believe in him myself. I get a little buzz at the thought of him waiting impatiently for me at home in our wonderful apartment, cooking something delicious for a romantic dinner a deux. Yes his jealousy IS a bit over the top at times but he considers me such a prize he presumes all other men are crazy for me too. What a fall I set myself up for when I am faced again with the stark reality of my dog smelling room and a melted lump of camembert.

However for all my husband is tall, sexy and loves me I’d drop him in a shot if one actual cutey asked me for coffee.

I have mentioned America’s Next Top Model a number of times within my posts but I haven’t mentioned the fact that for the last week , aviation as we know it ground to a complete standstill because of a Volcano erupting in Iceland. Apparently the ash, hanging somewhere imperceptibly in the otherwise pristine blue skies, would cause plane engines to grind to a halt so instead travel has!

People are stuck and stranded all over the world unable to get to their destinations though the American buisnessmen I met in an Irish pub on Friday were unsurprisingly sanguine to be stuck in Paris with their buisness expenses for company for an extra 4 days. I’d say some fantastic stories not to mention babies will come of this. Though God help them is they are named after the volcano. Can you imagine how beaten up a kid called Eyjafjoell would be in the playground! Right, that’s my social diarist duty done, back to cycle 14 of ANTM.

Wow! Aren’t emotions funny things? I have been ODing on ‘Dexter’ the fabulous Showtime show about a serial killer. As far as he’s concerned he’s an emotionless monster but every now and again little bubbles of anger, love, fear rise up to disconcert him.

I can’t say I have any empathy with a serial killer, but this morning I am very hung over, having spent last night singing up a storm and downing piches of rose in an Irish pub. Hence this morning my capacity to feel anything other then the pain behind my right eye, has been rather blunted…

And then I go on Facebook, and I see a post by an ex. And it contains a photo of his girlfriend, the one with whom he has an on off relationship ( he hooked up with me on one of the off phases) It’s on again. And she’s gorgeous…

And lo and behold a big bubble of jealousy manages to surge its way through the dense gel of my hangover!! I mean for fecks sake, I wasn’t even that into him, and I know from the horse’s mouth, the relationship continues to be fraught so my jealousy is ill-founded and illogical . But as Dexter finds out in season 3, the old emotions have no logic.

Georgous Dad

A little google trawl has revealed that a person upon which I contemplated having a crush makes music videos with very georgous very famous French actresses. I think I shall refocus my sights on the 22 year old waiter. My mate snogged a 23 year old while drunk in a pub in Manchester last week, so that’s like…permission isn’t it? She said he had very soft skin.

Yellow

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